A friend once told me she wasn't sure if she was going to marry her boyfriend whom she has been with for a long time. Pretty much all of high school. She told me they talked about it but she always had second thoughts. "He is a good boyfriend and all, but he doesn't seem like the type to have a career. I need someone who can provide just in case." Damn.

I agreed and laughed. But in the back of my head, it really got me thinking. I know I wasn't the best academically in school; I know I could have done better. But the fact is, school's finished and real life's commenced. I can't travel back in time like Henry. So I gotta make the best of the future to try and compensate for the past. I don't want the girl that I plan to be with to think the same thing about me. I want to avoid the doubts and have nothing less than certainty. After all, marriage is about trust, loyalty; faith. Right?

This has been on my mind for a while, but for some reason I just can't act on it. To be honest, maybe I'm just a little lazy right now. No, wait. Not lazy. Discouraged. I'm losing motivation/inspiration from the stress; depression. Life is just so complicated when you attempt to comprehend it. Right now, I'm in the live-in-the-present-and-not-look-too-far-ahead phase. I need to cut the bull shit and figure my self out. What I wanna do, what I wanna become; who I wanna do it for. Because shit, I wanna impress that girl one day. And you know what? I will.

I will.